Labels

Ackee & Saltfish (5) African American (10) African American Men (3) African American Women (14) All Black Lives Matter (17) American Masculinity (2) Anti-racism (3) Anti-Racism Victory (6) Art (2) Barack and Michelle (6) Black Artists (4) Black Children (20) Black Children Rise (1) black dead and unarmed (8) Black Edutainment (6) Black Entertainment (71) Black Female Patriarchy (4) Black Feminists (10) Black Feminists Rock (18) Black Folks International (5) Black Herstory (13) black history (68) Black History Being Made Now (14) Black Lives Matter (123) black lives matter victory (16) black men (5) Black Men For Black Women (6) black unarmed and dead (18) Black Web Series (12) Black Women (26) Black Women Matter (31) Black Women Rock (24) Cecile Emeke (5) CHEAP AND EASY HISTORY (3) CINO (1) Colorism (27) Comedy (12) Cultural Appropriation (5) Entertainment (15) Environmental Racism (5) feminism (5) Feminists Rock This World (2) Gun Control (4) hate crimes (4) History (2) internalized racism (6) internalized sexism (2) Light Skinned Privilege (6) Michelle Obama (3) Music (5) Obama Speech (2) Patriarchy Matters (3) People Of Color On The Rise (3) poetry (6) police brutality (34) Police Murder (10) Police White Supremacy (10) Politics (94) poverty (2) President Obama (31) Products For Black Women (1) Protest Works (6) quotes (13) Race (11) racial bias (1) Racism (40) Racism Abroad (2) racism definition (1) Racism in politics (66) racism without racists (3) Rape Culture (9) religion (4) Say Her Name (13) Sexism (6) Sexism in Politics (10) Slave Master Mentality (2) Stop Whitewashing History (3) Supreme Court (4) terrorism (3) Toxic Masculinity (4) victory (7) Vote (3) War on Terror (2) white entitlement (6) white fragility (5) white on white crime (2) White Privilege (9) white racial apology (6) white racism (30) white supremacy (54) white supremacy in mainstream news (6) white supremacy in politics (68) white supremacy world wide (2) Wisdom (3)

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

How To Love The Lovable Racist For 2 Years


When we walked into the living room, I immediately lost myself in the crowd. Everyone was white and towering over me. Although I had grown up in a predominantly white community, I had never felt more aware of my race than I did at that moment.

I reached over for Matt’s hand, but he gently pushed mine aside and said, “Not here.”

When his grandparents finally arrived, they greeted me with handshakes instead of hugs. Matt generously introduced me to his grandparents and other relatives as his “friend.”

We spoke with a number of people who could not seem to remember my name, even if I had introduced myself a minute before. Conversation was often directed toward Matt instead of me. He didn’t notice and continued. I stood by his side at the party, but I had never felt more distant from him.

Later at the party, Matt talked to his relatives about his negative experiences at college. Matt said that he’d felt marginalized by our school because he was white. He didn’t think minorities should be treated better in college because that wasn’t how the “real world” worked.

I was stunned by his comments. He seemed to have forgotten that I was part of this minority.

I turned to him and spoke out. I tried to explain that moving beyond the status quo was the whole point, that our college wanted to empower marginalized communities by providing students with opportunities that may not otherwise be available.

Matt looked at me with disgust.

He ignored me and continued to defend his point of view. I deferred to his opinion and stopped talking.

READ MORE AT XOJANE or EVERYDAY FEMINISM  http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/06/realizing-my-boyfriend-was-racistutm_sourceeverydayfeminismutm_mediumsyndication/