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Wednesday, March 25, 2015

How To Love The Lovable Racist For 2 Years


When we walked into the living room, I immediately lost myself in the crowd. Everyone was white and towering over me. Although I had grown up in a predominantly white community, I had never felt more aware of my race than I did at that moment.

I reached over for Matt’s hand, but he gently pushed mine aside and said, “Not here.”

When his grandparents finally arrived, they greeted me with handshakes instead of hugs. Matt generously introduced me to his grandparents and other relatives as his “friend.”

We spoke with a number of people who could not seem to remember my name, even if I had introduced myself a minute before. Conversation was often directed toward Matt instead of me. He didn’t notice and continued. I stood by his side at the party, but I had never felt more distant from him.

Later at the party, Matt talked to his relatives about his negative experiences at college. Matt said that he’d felt marginalized by our school because he was white. He didn’t think minorities should be treated better in college because that wasn’t how the “real world” worked.

I was stunned by his comments. He seemed to have forgotten that I was part of this minority.

I turned to him and spoke out. I tried to explain that moving beyond the status quo was the whole point, that our college wanted to empower marginalized communities by providing students with opportunities that may not otherwise be available.

Matt looked at me with disgust.

He ignored me and continued to defend his point of view. I deferred to his opinion and stopped talking.

READ MORE AT XOJANE or EVERYDAY FEMINISM  http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/06/realizing-my-boyfriend-was-racistutm_sourceeverydayfeminismutm_mediumsyndication/