BWAAAAA HA HA HA
Tee-hee-hee-hee
Wooo- hooooo
"History Channel‘s newest documentary series, Barbarians Rising, tackles the fall of Rome over the course of 700 years of invasions. However, the most recent episode that aired Monday depicts Hannibal of Carthage as a Black man, and many white history buffs are crying foul over the “historical inaccuracy.”
In the series, Hannibal is portrayed by Black British actor Nicholas Pinnock. The famous Carthaginian was a thorn in the empire’s side. He became a general at the age of 26 and managed to unite barbarian tribes to stop Rome’s imperial rise. The military genius was famous for climbing the Alps with war elephants whose sole purpose was to stomp the Roman army."
~Atlantablackstar.com
It was this little film clip was enough to make some of the wypeepo upchuck their cookies!
Last year, in the back offices of "The History Channel"
White Bob : Who should we get to play Hannibal?
White Josh: Well he was North African. They're pale, right
Bob: Josh, he was African. Whitewashing with white actors is out. Or hadn't you noticed?
Josh: What's the difference. I don't even see race.
Bob: Oh Yeah? How well do you see green? How does that color register for ya?
Josh: What do you mean?
Bob: How much money did Frank lose making "THE GODS OF EGYPT"
Josh: Ummm
Bob: How much money did Stella lose making "ALOHA"
Josh: Ummm
Bob: How much money did Sam lose making "EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS"
Josh: GODS OF EGYPT and EXODUS...um whats-it-called were two different movies?
Bob: Yes
Josh: They both flopped bad then?
Bob: Yes Josh, they both flopped bad because whitewashing is out. Money is gone. Careers have ended.
Josh: (He spins away in his office chair. Soon there's the sound of fingers clicking on the keyboard of a laptop. He googles "North Africans") "Wow. They really aren't like...mostly white. Tunisia area right? Geez, you can even tell by the thousands of year old cave art that they aren't white. And a bunch of these North Africans in other areas are also really...um...uh....
Bob: Let me help you. "Black" the word you are looking for is "Black"
Josh: Well. There have been debates about Hannibal's race for decades
Bob: That's because white people assume that anybody smart enough to have won any kind of battle against white people must have been white.
[Bob has that ONE black friend. And it's me. I don't stop the bus for white tears. I drink those tears for breakfast. And then I run people down with the bus. Bob knows I don't play.]
Josh: Fine. Let's look at the black actor book. I mean, the black actor half-sheet of paper.
Bob: How about this guy
Josh: Well. There's only six to pick from and he's the right age and height, so I guess we better hope he's free.
Bob: We'll do more than hope he's free. We'll have to put off the project until he is free
Josh: I don't know about all that
Bob: Think green Josh. Think green. Think Harriet Tubmans. You can even demand your pay in Andrew Jacksons, so long as you think green.
Josh: Well it just feels so wrong. I mean I just don't like people thinking that we're being politically correct. That's important you know. Political correctness is not ethical - actual racism be damned. I didn't mean to say that....I mean, that came off sooo tone deaf. But you know what I mean, right? I'm not a racist. Nobody could believe that about---
Bob: JOSH! Focus. AVATAR: THE LAST AIR BENDER.
Josh: (Holding his head and moaning, Josh thinks about the ultimate flop in the history white-washed movies. It broke everybody involved. Josh knows the director was lucky to work again)
Bob: AVATAR: THE LAST AIRMENDER
Josh: Stop. Don't say it again!
Bob: AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!! THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!! THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!! Do you want to be able to keep your apartment? Do you want to be able to put meat on top or boxed mac and cheese occasionally? THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!!
Bob: AVATAR: THE LAST AIRMENDER
Josh: Stop. Don't say it again!
Bob: AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!! THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!! THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!! Do you want to be able to keep your apartment? Do you want to be able to put meat on top or boxed mac and cheese occasionally? THE LAST AIRBENDER!!!!
Josh: STOP IT! I'm having flashbacks. I'm in the movie theater watching it all over again! 
(Trembling) We'll wait until Pinnock is available.
(Trembling) We'll wait until Pinnock is available.
Bob: Fine!
Josh: I still think we should find some sort of way to make people understand we're not trying to be politically correct. It's an ethical dilemma. I don't understand--
Josh: I still think we should find some sort of way to make people understand we're not trying to be politically correct. It's an ethical dilemma. I don't understand--
Bob: (Frowns. Trys to think what DebLynn would do. Bob spins on one foot and does a back-handed b*tch slap that sends Josh flying out of his chair.)
The white tears are real this time.
The white tears are real this time.
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