But part of black males being put on a pedestal after being wrapped in layer upon layer of cotton in the black community --after they've been battered into being tougher, toxic masculinity style-- has to do with the perception that black men suffer from white supremacy while black girls don't, not nearly as often.
And it is these patriarchy soaked black girls who turn into black mothers.
That's why I knew Michelle Obama's comments on how we're raising boys would draw some carefully worded fire from black women although I'm thinking Michelle Obama was talking about brown and white boys too
...such as those old, ever-ugly-@$$ white boys who sexually blackmailed and sexually assaulted truckloads full of mostly white women in Hollywood and in offices across the nation.
But articles like the one below are objecting to Michelle criticizing the black mothers of black boys.
sample headline/article:
Why Michelle Obama's Comments About How We Raise Our Sons Gave Me Pause.
Michelle Obama was recently interviewed by poet Elizabeth Alexander at the first annual Obama Foundation Summit. What she said about parenting is not a new sentiment.
Michelle said, "It's like the problem in the world today is we love our boys, and we raise our girls. We raise them to be strong, and sometimes we take care not to hurt men and I think we pay for that a little bit and that's a 'we' thing because we raise them. It's powerful to have strong men but what does that strength mean?" she asked. "You know, does it mean respect? Does it mean responsibility? Does it mean compassion? Or are we protecting our men too much so they feel a little entitled and a little, you know, a little self-righteous sometimes? But, that’s kind of on us too as women and mothers, you know, as we nurture men and push girls to be perfect."
Here's why Michelle's words gave me pause.
She doesn’t have sons.
Read More: http://www.curlynikki.com/2017/11/why-michelle-obamas-comments-about-how.html
Same as the white Hollywood execs defending themselves from sexual blackmail accusations the author is implying, 'She doesn't know what's happened, she wasn't there'
Well, that's true. Michelle Obama wasn't there in the same position as a woman raising sons at any point in her life. Obama doesn't know what it's like to raise boys. We all know she only gave birth to daughters
She just knows what it's like to be around boys who became men that were raised by mothers, same as the rest of us.
She just raised daughters that are likely going to have intimate relationships with somebody's sons.
Women who have already married men know how sons were and weren't raised. Women with boyfriends know how sons were and weren't raised. Women with brothers know how men were and weren't raised. Women who live in black communities know how sons were and weren't raised. Yes, all of us have an opinion. And all of us should have an opinion, especially since black men are sometimes killing black women at a higher rate of speed in incidents of domestic abuse than white men and cops are killing black PEOPLE (not just black men.) It's about time women like Michelle Obama, who have heterosexual daughters,
-say that they are worried about daughters who may one day marry a black man-say something about how these black men are being raised...because entitled men don't always hit with their fists.
The black man who is being raised to believe he is suffering a special kind of white racism because he is male, hits with words and emotional blackmail and this turnabout works on their mama's first. Black women who are raising sons should be taught that their daughters or their neighbor's daughters lives are in danger due to racism too.
Black men ARE being shot out in the street by cops more often (due to toxic masculinity being added to the mix between black and white men) but unarmed black men are not the only black people that are being killed by police. However, it IS black women's highly suspicious deaths-by-cop that are being ignored, first by the black community followed by mainstream media.
There was no large nationwide black protest for Rekia Boyd and her killer walking free was all but ignored.
Most don't know that Miriam Carey might have run away /driven away from an attacker...that turned out to be off duty law enforcement who put what looks like a beer cooler on her car.
And, I didn't hear about Yvette Smith until weeks after she was dead.
In fact, I didn't hear about several black women who were shot down by police until weeks later which means I didn't hear about some black women that were killed by police AT ALL.As for the black women dying in prison like Sandra Bland-- who was very nearly the only black woman to benefit from #SAYHERNAME, the black community doesn't hear about them at all unless a black feminist or black feminist-leaning woman is in charge of some local news publication. When black mothers stop believing their sons are at extra special risk from white supremacy, are suffering from white supremacy more than black women -- as opposed to just differently-- that's when they'll stop raising coddled, entitled black men.
Many black men recover from well-intentioned mothers nicely. But some don't until later in life. And some don't at all. A bunch of my brothers and cousins fit into "later in life category" as far as when they decided to re-raised themselves Those of us impacted by how black mothers of sons raise boys with lower standards than they do girls had better say something because sexism is taught and passed down --same as white supremacy is among white folks. And a lot of times the sexism and entitlement boys learn is being taught by Mommy.
Black female patriarchy is real And if black women aren't going to correct black women, then who IS going to do it? This is the time to decide if we really believe, "It takes a village to raise a child." When the number of black women dead of domestic violence drops, then maybe we can assume the rest of black misogyny has gone by the wayside too. That's when we can stop asking about how we're raising our boys as compared to how we raise boys
But we're going to need to keep the dialogue going until then.
We, as black people, are 13% of the population and we have 2.5 to 3 times the poverty in our number. We cannot afford to be as divided by gender as white people are. Black mothers of sons whose noses are out of joint? You should probably listen to Michelle Obama's message over and over again, because it is likely you that has some self-examination to do, research to execute, and books to read. I hope defensive black mothers do not do the white-folk-thing where you assume what your parents did for you was good enough for you so it's good enough for your little prince because this is exactly why so much unacknowledged white supremacy is still flowing freely in this country.
White parents have done this with their children; raised them the same as they themselves were raised, without much self-examination.We can do better because we have to. I'm glad Michelle Obama is so brave because I really would have been too afraid to go there when I knew I'd ultimately have a high percentage black audience once my words went out over the airwaves.
I'm prouder of Michelle Obama everyday. Aren't you? Black Feminist Parents Rock. Don't you forget it.
BLACKCHICKROCKED.BLOGSPOT.COM
By the way, I have seen some defensive articles like the one captioned above. But a lot of black women --though afraid of the word "feminist" due to that word having been painted white in a very patriarchal black community-- are feminist in their thinking.
A lot of black women's comments on these "MICHELLE OBAMA DOESN'T HAVE SONS" articles are supportive of Michelle Obama. Mothers with sons and daughters are questioning themselves, were questioning themselves before Obama's talk. Black women have been feminists forever, most black folk just call it "having an attitude" instead.
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