Two Olympic gymnasts have expressed their disappointment in Gabby Douglas after she suggested that women should dress more conservatively to avoid harassment from [men].
Douglas defended herself against Twitter users who claimed that the Olympic gymnast’s tweet to Raisman was a form of victim-blaming.
“u misunderstood me. not blaming the victim at all. no man should look at any woman that way,” she tweeted to a profile under the Twitter handle @dwtsfishovskiy.
When @dwtsfishovskiy suggested that Douglas call on men to respect women, noting that it’s not women’s responsibilities to avoid being assaulted, Douglas replied: “It goes both ways.”The problem is not with what Gabby said. The problem, as usual, is what she believes. And same as white folk who make racist statements, we can tell what someone believes when those beliefs come out of their mouths.
Gabby is only 22 years old. In my opinion, she is still young enough to say where you can say that male supremacy based belief of hers is her parents' fault. And her parents have been influenced by the black community at large.
Black girls and young black women are taught to jump up and defend the oppressor from birth if the oppressor has been identified as "men", and there might be a chance that the oppressor group includes black men. That's why, I have very little problem imaging that Douglas is getting support for this among her family.
In fact, based on Simone Biles saying she's not surprised by Douglas' words, I'd be shocked to learn that her family does not go in for respectability politics when it comes to black men but embraces respectability politics wholeheartedly when it comes to black women.
That is, I'd be willing to bet that Douglas has been influenced
by a heavily anti-feminist black community
that will jump up and down and scream
if someone suggests a young black man,
like Trayvon Martin,
was killed because of the way he was dressed
WHO WILL ALSO whisper among themselves
"what did she expect?"
when a woman is sexually attacked
should her skirt be deemed too high above the knee
and her top too low on her chest.
In the black community, respectability politics is A-Okay to apply to black women but not black men. This reflects that our house is divided. And a house divided against itself cannot stand.
The black community too often either stands against women or refuses to stand up for women And black female patriarchy is one of the outcomes. Douglas is clearly a suffer.
She's young. So, I have hopes that she will recover. But it won't be easy. I say this because one of the strongest minds this country has produced has less courage than she should.
One of the most disappointing things I've read in the last few years regards Toni Morrison's refusal to identify as a feminist when her writings are so clearly feminist.
Not only is Morrison highly intelligent, she likely not lacking in information on very many social subjects as a writer, especially not feminism.Therefore she knows feminism is not a "white invention" as touted by black men who want dog-like devotion from black women -- begging for favor, praying to be able to forgive even after being neglected or abused.
Yet, Morrison has all but said she refuses to identify as a feminist because black women have a hard time with it -- NOT BECAUSE she disagrees with it.
I tried to understand this as being empathetic because this woman's intelligence intimidates me. I've even been so lacking in generosity and grace as to wonder if she simply doesn't want to negatively impact her book sales. But now that I've thought about it --for months now-- I think it is as simple as her deciding to be a follower instead of a leader.If male supremacy in the black community to bend someone like Toni Morrison, what chance do young women like Gabby Douglas really have to get her mind right?
This isn't just about healing black women either.
The thing that Gabby Douglas and whoever raised her do not understand is that they are calling all men, including black men, animals who cannot control themselves when she says a woman has to dress in a respectable way in order to not be attacked. Once you believe this, it's easier to believe there's an excuse for the behavior of Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, and R. Kelly, and Brett Ratner
And once you provide excuses like "It goes both ways" then you're working to keep predators among us
Let me be clear, I am fairly conservative when it comes to how people (not just women) dress. However, it's obvious that to me that its a good thing for women to be a lot freer than they have been in all ways, including clothing choices.
I think men have no say about appropriate dress except when it comes to their own children, female and male.
But it worries me that there's no longer much discussion among feminist women about how women, as a group, might seek objectification and the male gaze through clothing. It's clear to me that young women, even feminists, are stunted mentally and emotionally when all they can think about is how attractive and sexy they are.
I seek beauty everywhere. I like making myself pretty, make-up, adding color to my face to my house to my workspace. I like feeling sexy and free. I think I am a very common woman in this way.
But men have said being decorative and attractive is our only value as women. And we have a group identity as women the same as we have group identity as black people. When white influence is too much black people discuss it.
Similarly, when male influence is too much we need to be to discuss that too. But even feminists are afraid to do this.
To me, how a woman dresses and the subject of sexual objectification and self sexual-objectification is not related at all to a man's right to touch a woman. If a woman walks down the street butt-naked, that doesn't give a man the right to touch her.
Men need to learn to keep their hands to themselves.
All of us learn this lesson in kindergarten. Men need to remind themselves. And cops need to re-learn to keep their hands to themselves too. Cops should have no right to touch anyone until they are at the point that they decide they have probable cause for frisking someone or are about to make an arrest.
Most black men already understand this about cops. That means they have a leg up on white men as far as being able to understand this in regards to never touching a black woman uninvited no matter how she's dressed.
As men are the source of patriarchy, if the black male patriarchy infection rate goes down then black female patriarchy infection rate goes down. And if patriarchy levels are decreased, the black house is less divided against itself.
Maybe Gabby Douglas is saved in the process.
We learn a lot of the basics about a successful life in kindergarten. But some things become clearer as we become adults in a world saturated with white supremacy and male supremacy. And one of those adult lessons centers on what bell hooks said,
Feminism is for everybody.
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| Two tiny books that illuminate much |
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