RED TABLE TALK: GIRLS TRIPPIN WITH GABRIELLE UNION

Jada Pinkett Smith and Gabrielle Union have an open discussion about the ups and downs of friendship and the power of sisterhood.

RED TABLE TALK EPISODE: GIRLS TRIPPIN (REBUILDING FRIENDSHIPS)

DISCUSSION:

I thought I was going to walk away from this video with some hot gossip on what went wrong between these Jada Pinkett-Smith and Gabrielle Union, but they never really went there. Instead they talked about falling down, getting back up, and seeing yourself as you truly are when you're facing consequences as a result of being your worst self -- just because you were feeling attacked or feeling worthless or feel like you are shrinking.

I feel like I never had enough self-esteem to do the put down thing with other women, back when I was young and foolish. But, unlike Jada and Gabrielle, I was never in a profession like acting, where you actually needed to use your beauty and grace to compete with other women just to get your foot in the door so your talent will be seen. 

But I have had the sensation Union described, that feeling of shrinking when I used to come across another woman who I feel is a lot closer to cookie-cutter perfect than me. 

Actually, I used to describe the feeling as fading, feeling like I was becoming transparent and disappearing.

Apparently, Union's response to this ugly feeling would be to start whispering to others, trying to tear the other woman down  --like that would stop her from feeling like she was being ignored, becoming invisible.  

This part of the talk wasn't knew for me. Union has talked a lot about being a recovered mean-girl in the past.  

Being the opposite of a mean girl myself, but also with low self-esteem, what I tended to do when I was younger was to put myself on the other side of the room so as not to come out looking bad by comparison.  

Avoidance may look like nothing bad is happening to the casual observer. I mean, I wasn't putting anybody else down to build myself up. But I was putting myself down in my own head. But this avoidance has consequences for others too. I didn't just hurt me. 

That avoidance blocked potential relationships and beneficial alliances with other women based on nothing but silent envy or silent jealousy or simply because I filled my own head and heart with self-rejection. I denied other women my wisdom, assistance, my sense of humor and my support. 

After discussing what it took for them to go through their own personal recovery on this issue, Gabrielle and Jada went into their problems people pleasing and codependency...which had been a big issue for me in the past (and still plagues me from time to time) Then they went on to talk about what #MeToo movement means to Gabrielle as a rape survivor.

* * * * *
I'm loving RED TABLE TALK. Catch this series on FACEBOOK WATCH

BLACKCHICKROCKED.BLOGSPOT.COM