I Believe Taylor Swift But....

This is reportedly the photo where DJ David Mueller is supposed to be shown grabbing Taylor Swift's ass.

Background: This male DJ grabbed Taylor Swift's ass. She reported it. DJ was fired. DJ sued Swift for millions. Swift counter-sued him for one dollar, as a protest among other things.

According to the video below, Taylor Swift says she doesn't know if the photo was taken before or after the moment he put his hand on her bare ass. According to a news report I saw on ABC, he left his hand her ass for a long time and persisted on leaving it there after she lurched away from him.

The other thing she reportedly said is that the gap between her body and his reflects her having lurched away from him -- which seems to indicate the photo was snapped during or after the assault.

This all brings me to my next point: Why is it Taylor's mother is the only one who saw her face change? Yeah, your Mom knows you. She's the one who is going to know if something is wrong and you're hiding it.

But my real question is why did Swift hide it?

When something not-nearly-that-bad happened to me I hid it too. But why?

Why are we hiding it? Why are we the ones humiliated? Yeah its embarrassing in the moment, but why does the embarrassment last beyond the moment, especially for someone as powerful as Taylor Swift. Me?  I had to think if the white men were going to be believe me. Then I had to decide if the white men in charge at the place I worked were going to go to bat for me. And I also was at an age where I didn't want anybody to think I was a child who couldn't take care of herself.

I didn't complain that loudly. I backed the cretin off by myself with death-ray stares.

But why is it STILL "professional" to hide it when somebody is violating you while it's happening. It's freaking 2017. When this happened to Swift 3 years ago, it was 2014. She was somewhere near 24 years old. 

Speaking up at 24 years old when you have damn near all the power due to your star status isn't precisely nothing, but close to it. Going to court definitely isn't nothing. Going to court and making this public spectacle of herself sent the right message to young girls that adore her. And I wouldn't be surprised if Taylor Swifft's story didn't put a little wind in the sails of the six women suing the Plaza Hotel for routine sexual harassment.  

But I'd have been a hell of a lot more impressed with Swift if she'd knocked his teeth out and then got him fired.

It's 2017. I think a better message to send to girls is "speak up right away and loudly." Creating a six inch gap while you just stand there and take it "like a professional" isn't a right-enough message to send to girls about sexism and sexual assault.

And this is about sexism too because more men were likely involved in this than just the man accused. 

Only slightly less powerful than Beyonce, by standing there and taking it without making a fuss, Taylor Swift  has inadvertently said that the men that run the radio stations, music video productions, and concert stages might be offended if a woman doesn't just take it quietly in a ladylike manner until she can tell another man that a cad embarrassed her by putting his hand on her bare ass.

That DJ should have lost teeth and his job. 

At the very least, everybody in the room should have known something happened in the moment. And he should have lost his job too. Her mama shouldn't have been the only one that knew something happened because she knows her own child's face.

Video: You can watch the men mansplain to one another what may or may not have happened if you want to. But I found it a little repulsive in more than one spot.