"Bishop Charles H Ellis III’s hug of the singer, and a joke about her name, was interpreted by some as crossing a line"
~ from The Guardian
His hand and her face say it all. So yeah, I'd say he crossed a line. Or maybe it's just me...and most of the women in the country
This incident reminds me of Taylor Swift pretending a man didn't have a hand on her bare ass during a photo....not complaining until the photo was over even though she was already famous and powerful at the time.
We have to redefine professionalism for women. We've been taught pretend it's not happening IN THE MOMENT is the gold standard.
Swift should have known to shove an elbow in that man's throat while it was happening. And I wish Grande had bent to fake-fix her shoe so as to get his hand off her but not make a scene-- even though I doubt I'd have had time think of that myself
-- which is WHY we have to teach girls *pretend it's not happening* in the moment is not synonymous with "professionalism."
-- which is WHY we have to teach girls *pretend it's not happening* in the moment is not synonymous with "professionalism."
At the same time we have to create laws that at least impose fines for minor sexual assault (revision: "sexual harassment" should mean no-touching AT all).
Apologies are not gettin it for me
I wrote the section above BEFORE I saw the actual video. 
Now that I've actually seen his hand moving, reacquiring his access to her breast, I'm like,
"AUUUUUGGGGH!"
If we get to the year, 2118 and women and men are so equal that people don't even remember what the word "feminism" used to mean AND THIS WERE TO HAPPEN AGAIN, it might still be appropriate for Grande to wait until after the presentation is over
After all, this happened at a FUNERAL for an icon. If it were me I would not want the focus to turn away from The Queen Of Soul to me over a micro-sexual assault.
In the future I imagine Ariana would wait until she got off stage and then file charges (that will exist in 2118)
************
HOWEVER, in 2118 that thing that happened with Taylor Swift will not happen the same way again,
In 2118 a man who puts his hand up a skirt
will NOT
be met by a woman
CONDITIONED TO NOT RESPOND
to SEXUAL ASSAULT.
The Taylor Swift-A-Like in 2118
will deliver a crushing blow
to the man's adam's apple
...THEN file charges afterward.
* * * * *
We ALL know why Ariana Grande responded the way she did
-- because we've probably done it
-- because we KNEW that was what was EXPECTED of us as nice, well-brought up young ladies.
We need to change this from the ground up, from freaking birth.
When girls (and boys) are no longer brought up believing it's ladylike or professional for a woman to be quiet when someone assaults her and complain later, that this is NOT minor, that is when women will understand oppressors do not voluntarily give up power.
And when women as a group understand that this behavior is part of oppression they will understand what is required to take our half of the power.
Women as group taking power will look like a lot more girls being raised to think about being a senator or president one day when she's in grade school. A lot more young women will looking for other female politicians to vote for instead of male politicians to convince. Women as a group will become determined to make sure that women are at least half of those writing and enforcing laws.
Currently, consequences like embarrassment, apologies, and losing a job aren't teaching men anything. But losing large sums of money and prison time will.
The only way that happens is if women move away from the gender-based version of respectability politics --same as black folks began giving up respectability politics as a method of moving toward equality during The Civil Rights Movement
We need to put women in positions of power where they can create at least 5 to 10 different types of sexual assault and sexual harassment charges that are associated with fines and penalties.
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